Why is it that so many relationships, which kick off with such energy and eagerness, appear to lose their glitter just one or two weeks down the road? Research has demonstrated that there are five base principles, which rule the quality of a relationship in the long run:
Principle 1: Awareness of the other person’s preferences
How does your husband or wife enjoy being told that you love him or her? How would you love to be told that your lover or better half loves you. Do you want to touched in a certain way, or do you want to be embraced in a certain way, or do you want love to be expressed in words, or do you want to be looked in the eyes in a certain way? Love is a very fragile affair, and the surest way of sabotaging your relationship is to be detached of the others person’s preferences.
Over the months and years, most people realize, what's the thing that makes their lover express love. However some don’t and this can be lethal for the relationship. If you think that you haven’t yet discovered your partner’s preferences, this is the very first thing you should do. Regularly called the “Love Strategy,” you should make a conscious effort to discover it, and meet it on a consistent basis.
Principle 2: Relationship is a place to give, not take
Regularly people approach a relationship as a place to unravel their issues. While a relationship could definitely answer issues, this approach has a tendency to disempower both the people concerned in it. If you haven't been cuddled or spoiled as a kid, and use a relationship as a place to receive such treatment, you are disempowering yourself of your ability to take any energy, as you are constantly hunting for your partner to treat you in a certain way.
As an alternative what one should do in that kind of case is, concentrate on giving something into the relationship. Such contribution of love and affection will automatically cause the sort of treatment you need.
Principle 3: Learn to communicate your issues with your other half
Dr. Barbara De Angelis, in her fastest selling book, “How to Make Love All the Time,” identifies four stages in a relationship that may kill it. And, by identifying it, one can immediately interrupt and lose the issues before they become unmanageably huge.
Phase 1: ResistanceThis is the first segment of challenges in a relationship. It occurs when you take exception of something your other half recounted or did which you did not like. Maybe, it had been a joke, which you didn't find extraordinarily tasteful, or a statement that sickened you, or something else, which you wished had not happened. Of course, resistance is bound to happen in a relationship between two humans, but the secret is to talk it over, and settle it before it reaches the second phase.
Phase 2: ResentmentResistance, if not handled correctly, can lead to bitterness. Now, your irritation with your other half grows into angriness, and a communication obstacle is erected between you and him/her. In this phase, you begin to avoid your companion, and the intimate contact that you both enjoyed is almost over.
Phase 3: RejectionIf resistance is not eased, or if you and your better half do not talk the matter over, you will move into the third phase: rejection. This is the start of the physical separation from your other half. Coupled with emotional separation, in this phase, you begin to find everything about your companion vexing and annoying.
Phase 4: RepressionThis is the most hazardous phase of the passing of your relationship. In this phase, you stop conversing with your better half altogether. There's an emotional insensibility between both of you. Slowly, you become a roommate of your partner, not worried of what he or she is doing or feeling.
Hence what is the simplest way to avoid this dangerous trap? Dr. De Angelis says, it’s simple: Talk. Talking one’s Problems, one’s concerns and one’s likes and dislikes is the only way to guarantee smooth sailing. Adequate and suggestive communication is a necessary part of any relationship.
Principle 4: Never threaten your relationship
Plenty of couples have the practice of saying things like, “You do that, and I'm leaving you.” This can be terrible, because, though most of the time such a statement is not meant to be regarded extremely seriously but what if one day, your other half asserted, “Go ahead and leave. I'm going to do things my way.” If that type of case emerges, one’s ego may regularly force him or her to follow up on their threat (of leaving), and that is the end of the relationship. See, the point is that irrespective of what situation arises, there isn't any reason for threatening your relationship if you would like it to last a. Lifetime.
Principle 5: Endeavor to constantly add glitter to your relationship
Just like any other emotion, a relationship also needs to be continually held up. You want to constantly excite your partner, and ignite his or her want for you. A technique to brace your feelings of connection and renew your emotions of intimate contact and attraction, is to continually ask questions that would make your other half express love; something like, “How did I am getting so fortunate to have you in my life?” Attempt to surprise one another. Do horrendous things, like arranging an outing at a place where your better half would have not even imagined. Express love in an out-of-the-way demeanour, and have fun doing it.